the sweetest thing

The sweetest thing happened to me two nights ago. As the hubby and I were getting Drake into his bed, he turned to look at me with those big blue eyes of his, and said, "I love you." It blew me away. I wish I had a tape recorder on me then. I don't think I'll ever get tired of replaying those three little words over and over again in my head.


Also, we went to the pediatrician today. Little Link is still underweight. He was born a healthy 7 pounds 8 ounces, but dropped to 6 pounds 11 ounces when we left the hospital. It was more than the typical 10% weight loss, but the doctor thought it would be fine since I've had success at breastfeeding in the past. But today, at his two week check-up he was only 7 pounds 2.5 ounces. He was supposed to be back at his birthweight by now. I'm not sure what's going amiss, other than all the spit-up, and I sure wish I could find a way to fix it. He's so tiny and fragile. Last week at his check-up he was 7 pounds 1 ounce. I can't believe he's only gained 1.5 ounces in a week. Look at how tiny his arm is compared to my thumb (and no, I don't have man hands...it only looks that way in comparison to his slender frame). If anyone has any suggestions for packing on the weight or keeping his milk down, please let me know!!!

They grow up too fast

I know any parent already knows this, but really, children grow up way too fast. Already Drake is losing that delicious baby chub and growing vigorously into toddlerhood. He attempts things he wouldn't have been able to before, wakes up every morning with a voracious appetite for life, and understands way more than I've been giving him credit for. It's amazing just how far he's come in 18 short months. I can barely recognize my little baby there.

Thankfully, I'm taking the time to stop and smell the baby lotion this time around. I love the new baby scent. I love the new baby softness, the roundness, the little chubby cheeks. I love the little clothes and the even smaller socks. I love every thing about having a newborn in the house (except for maybe the sleep deprivation, but it's a trade I'm willing to make).

I can't believe the little guy's already ten days old. So right now I'm enjoying the fact that he's so new to this world, knowing full well that soon he'll be a master of it. I'm enjoying the fact that he doesn't fit in his clothes yet, knowing full well that soon I'll be switching out his clothes in his closet for bigger ones. I'm kissing him non-stop, knowing full well that one day soon he'll be embarrassed by kisses from his mommy.

Baby sideburns

Have I mentioned yet how in love I am with my children and my family? I'm so blessed.

Here's a picture of baby sideburns:

More cuteness...

Since I don't have time nor the energy to do a new post, here's some cuteness to tide you over.

the one with the new baby

Introducing: Lincoln James Alexander

I know I'm way behind on this, but I'm still adjusting to life with a newborn and an 18 month old. So here goes:

Last Wednesday, the 13th, my little angel arrived. He wasn't exactly planned for, but he was well celebrated and well worth the wait. He's a perfect little angel and I already can't imagine life without him. We arrived at the hospital at 7:40 (because we are chronically late and were supposed to be there at 7:30) on a rainy morning.

I didn't get to see my eldest son that morning because he was still sleeping when we crept out of the house after briefing Nana on all the particulars of running my house and my Drakers. It broke my heart to leave my little man without saying good morning to him, but he was in good hands. I also felt very guilty about leaving him without an explanation about how his world in less than three hours was going to be explosively different now that he wasn't going to be an only child. He had a full eighteen months of being the only child and relishing all the attention and love of his mommy and daddy. I felt very guilty that all that was coming to an end, especially without an adequate explanation. But if you've got a way to explain to an eighteen month old about a little brother, you'll have to share it with me because he seemed sort of surprised that this little being followed us home.

Once we got settled into our LDR room, the nerves finally hit. In less than two hours I was going to be cut up and holding a new baby in my arms. After three unsuccessful attempts at an IV insertion, my nurse finally called in the anesthesiologist to do it for her. I wasn't a fan of my nurse after her three failed attempts, but LOVED the anesthesiologist. Shortly after my IV was inserted, my parents arrived with my baby boy. He seemed so grown up, playing and running around in the hospital room. It felt so surreal that not that long ago we were in a similar hospital room awaiting his arrival. I sneaked a kiss from my only son before I walked out of the room and down the long hall to the operating room.

Once there, the nurses and anesthesiologists set about prepping me and inserting a spinal block. Let me just say I'm not a fan of the spinal block. I much prefer the epidural since the spinal block made my blood pressure drop to 80 over 39 and my temperature down to 93.7. But I was still the happiest woman in the world, because my little Lincoln James Alexander was here and healthy. He came out blue and cold, but he quickly warmed up with some oxygen and the heat lamps. He is absolutely beautiful and is the spitting image of his older brother. He came in at 21 inches long (same as Drakers) and 7 pounds, 8 ounces (seven ounces shy of his big bro) at 9:52 in the morning.

This time around with the c-section was so much easier than the first time where I labored for 15 hours and then got cut anyway. I didn't get the shakes, and I didn't have to have Jesus arms (hands strapped down to a board in a creepy manner). I was also the first one to give Lincoln a kiss (thank you, baby) and the first one to hold him (besides the doctor and nurses). James let me have that and it meant the world to me. It was the biggest detriment to having a c-section in my opinion.

He's absolutely amazing and I can't even believe how much I already love this little man whom I've only just met. I don't understand how a heart can hold so much love but it somehow does. Drake's still adjusting to him. For the most part he pretends he doesn't exist, but other times he calls him "gog" and pets him. I'm trying to tell him that Link is not in fact a dog, but his brother, to which Drake will shake his head at me like I'm crazy.

We had professional pictures done today. I'll have to post some as soon as I get the proofs. Can't wait to see them. These pictures will have to suffice for you until then. Love to all, Amy

the BEST mother's day

Yesterday was amazing! I had the best mother's day, and just generally a great day. I got to sleep in until nearly ten am! No little baby rolling about in my belly waking me up...he slept in too.

Then when I did wake up, I was met by my loving husband who made me my favorite breakfast: green pepper, ham, and cheese omelet. Yum! It was accompanied by lingonberry jam and reduced acid orange juice. Does my man know me or what?

He had my little man Drake pick out a balloon for me too as well as some gorgeous flowers at the florist's. Apparently Drake couldn't pick out just one balloon. He wanted two. Once I woke up, Daddy took him upstairs where the balloons and gifts were hidden. He told Drake to take me the balloons, so my first sight of my adorable little boy that day was seeing him streaking past me, running in a blur, with two bright mother's day balloons streaming behind him. It was the cutest thing I've ever seen.

After breakfast, I received the most thoughtful gift: a scrapbook with regular photo album pages. Dear hubby pointed out that I love to scrapbook but haven't made a family scrapbook yet. Wow. I hadn't even come to that realization, but he's right. And I'm so excited to create another scrapbook. The front has an opening for a picture and I can't wait to fill it with a family picture of all of us.

And that was only the beginning of my day...I didn't change a single diaper, my little boy was an angel, and my husband was loving and attentive...I felt so special. Thanks for the best mother's day ever, baby!

Finally! Nursery - etsy style

Finally the baby's room is finished. I can cross one thing off my massive to-do list now, and quit worrying about that and worry about more monumental stressors (such as an impending newborn, a mandatory move, getting licensed, finding myself, etc, etc). So here's some pictures of the finished nursery. It's absolutely fantastic and is now my favorite room in the whole house. Seriously...I go in there atleast five times a day just to admire my vision and handiwork.



Primered by Nana and I. White wainscoted and generally molded by my brother (Uncle Kurt) who doesn't do this professionally, but it sure looks like it! Blue band and pale yellow above that painted by the hubby. Accessorized by me, of course.



I love these stickers on the wall. Since we know we'll be moving relatively soon, it made sense to have a non-permanent detail for his room rather than risk having to paint over it later. These vinyl stickers are super easy to apply and come from a great etsian, Visions in Vinyl



The baby blue and chocolate bedding came from eBay...it was a steal for the 10 piece set at a little over $100 (including shipping).

What would a nursery be without some nursery art? Custom happy monster nursery prints (set of 3) from my own etsy store and customized with my nursery colors.

This gorgeous piece of furniture cost me $25 off craigslist. It's very heavy seeing as it's real wood. They just don't make them like this anymore! The front panels are more than 2" thick in parts! My father (Papa) refinished it and painted it a bright white for the nursery. The knobs cost 77 cents a piece at Home Depot. I love that Papa finished this piece of furniture for my second son since he did two for the Drakers too. It's a nice heritage and something to treasure.

These little guys are fantastic!!! I'm so in love with them. They are needle-felted (not sure what that means) happy monsters that a fellow etsian created for me. She has a wonderful shop, The Drying Rack with really reasonable prices, so go check it out!

The closet is also filled with the most adorable baby outfits from creative etsians. You should see these designs, and I know that my son will be the best dressed out there. I'll try to feature some of the cuteness in future posts, but for now let me leave you with this beauty from Sara from Savvy Stitcher

Is this the end?

I know for a fact that I have less than seven days to remain pregnant. I know this because I have a scheduled c-section for next Wednesday, the 13th, if I don't go into labor on my own before then. I'm excited, I'm elated, I'm nervous, I'm sad, I'm a little bit of everything right now.

I always said I wanted two to three children. Now that I'm at that two children mark (and three really already, if you count my step-daughter who doesn't live with us which is the only reason I don't count her in my numbers) I'm finding myself really questioning everything. I'm at a loss. I'm a very rational person who plans everything out to the last detail and it's killing me (in a good way) that motherhood is just one of those irrational things that happens to you. And if you think I mean that unkindly, I do not. It's just that the decision to have someone else completely and utterly hold your heart and welfare in their tiny little hands isn't exactly rational. I can't protect myself...I'm at his mercy. I thought I knew love when I married my husband. And I did. A version of it. But comparing the love you feel for a spouse and the love you feel for your children is like comparing a puddle to the ocean. It's unfathomable how much I love my children. I didn't expect motherhood to change me in the ways that it has.

While motherhood is heart-wrenching sometimes, I can't imagine who I would be if not a mother. I can't..and won't...imagine it. The rewards are so much greater than the sacrifices (and let me tell you, there are MANY sacrifices). When I had Drake, it was like my heart was wrenched open and bled dry. Every beat has been for him since 12:41am on November 22, 2007. I love him so much it hurts.

So is this the last time that my heart will bleed for someone else? I don't know. I feel like someone is maybe missing from our family, but I worry that this will be the last of my pregnancies. This one came so unexpectantly and so quickly upon the first that I feel like I haven't had time to stop and just breathe, much less enjoy being pregnant. There's nothing like being pregnant to make you feel like a woman. I know I hate certain things about pregnancy, but I honestly love the round, full belly. I love the thought that I carry my child with my every single second of every single day, sheltered by me. I love all the little nudges and kicks, even the ones in the ribs at 2 am. It means my little guy's doing well, and that's enough for me.

So is this it? My last seven days EVER of being pregnant? I'm not sure. It seems so anti-climatic. All I know is that I'm relishing every last little kick, flutter, twist, and turn that he does. I'm holding him a lot and talking to him a lot. I will miss being pregnant.

the Man

I like to display my photos of my loved ones. I have a huge 3 foot by 4 foot collage frame in my basement filled with pictures of everyone that's touched my life. I love being able to look at them and smile. Sometimes I'm sad, like tonight when I cried when I saw my Grandma Rita and Grandpa Harry (God rest their souls), but other times I just smile, like when I saw a picture of me and my Dad together on the little cruise ship that takes you to Walt Disney World. I have such a great network of friends and family and I'm unbelievably blessed.

But I would be remiss if I didn't mention my favorite person in all those pictures in my collage frame--my husband. In most of these pictures he's not my husband, yet. He's my boyfriend. (Wow...I am so old) One of these photos in particular caught my eye:

It's from my senior prom, May 6, 2000. Nearly nine years ago. But what I like about the photo is the background. Look really closely over my left shoulder:

There's a couple, newly married, having their photos taken. Little did I realize it at the time (I was so absorbed in prom I didn't even realize there was a wedding party there), but I would be in that exact location a little over three years later (May 31, 2003) marrying this same man.

And even more crazy is the thought that here soon (just over nine years since that first photo) I'll be having his second son (expected no later than May 13th). We've come such a long way, and I know that I take him for granted sometimes, but I'm still in love with him, just as much as I was when we shared that first kiss on the cold sidewalk. He's an amazing man and I feel really blessed to have him in my life.