My youngest son has been preliminarily diagnosed with dysarthria, a motor speech disorder. I say preliminary because it's not an official diagnosis yet, though the speech therapist is pretty sure that's what we're dealing with. For a long time I didn't think Lincoln looked, acted, or spoke like his age. I hate to be right in this case. As a mother, I want what's best for my children, and I'm constantly berating myself lately. Was that fall down the stairs what caused the problem? Was it because I chose to do my graphics business or dishes instead of sitting on the floor playing with him? Was it something I did during my pregnancy? I hate the what ifs. Right now they're tearing me apart. I could have been a better mother to him, I should have gotten him the help sooner, I shouldn't have taken the doctor's assertions that he was fine at face value. I've got to pull myself together and be better for him. He deserves it.
Please try not to be so hard on yourself, sometimes things happen that cannot be controlled. Your little guy has a mother who loves and adores him and that is the most important thing.
ReplyDeleteDon't be hard on yourself. Your'e an awesome Mom and God is in control! He knows what Lincoln needs even more than you do! :) I know what you mean about sitting down with the kids and playing, though. I get that mommy guilt too! Don't accept it!! It's not from Him! I try to keep a balance. I could play with my kids all day and neglect the house, but they don't want to live in filth either! haha. Balance. :) Love you!
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